Midlife career change overwhelm: Why indecision is so exhausting
One of the common threads with my clients is exhaustion. Not the exhaustion from burnout although I see a lot of that too. Rather, exhaustion from indecision.
I’ll explain what I mean.
You’ve been working in corporate for 30 years and want a fresh start. You have a number of options.
Move to a different company doing the same job.
Move to a different industry doing the same job.
Change career entirely but still employed.
Go freelance and start consulting using the years of experience that you have.
Retrain and do something entirely different.
Go and join a new start-up opportunity that an ex-colleague has discussed with you.
I could go on but I am sure you get my drift.
So many options each of them with pros and cons. All of which go around and around in your head - a bit like being on a hamster wheel with no ability to get off. Exhausting.
And here’s why.
Our brains are constantly trying to make sense of what's happening around us and anticipate what might happen next. Being able to predict and prepare helps us navigate the world and keep us safe.
But when we're faced with uncertainty, particularly about something important, that becomes harder.
When you're weighing up a major career or life change, your mind keeps rotating through the options. What if I make the wrong choice? What if I regret it? What if I leave a secure job and the next thing doesn't work out?
Meanwhile, you're trying to get on with your everyday life, do your job and make sensible decisions, all while running through a dozen possible futures in your head.
It's mentally demanding. And when the same questions keep coming back without getting you any closer to a decision, it's easy to become overwhelmed and lose confidence in your ability to choose.
No wonder you're shattered.
There's research to back this up, too.
A 2016 study by researchers at University College London found that people experienced the greatest stress when they were most uncertain about whether they would receive a painful electric shock. They were less stressed when they knew there was no chance of a shock or that it was definitely going to happen.
The researchers also measured physiological responses, including sweating and pupil dilation, which increased with uncertainty.
Think about what that means for a major career decision. You might feel relatively settled if you've decided to stay in your job, or if you've committed to a new direction. But when you're caught between the two, with no idea which way to turn, the uncertainty itself can become a significant source of stress.
It's the not knowing that wears you down.
The question is, what can you do about it? Try this…
It's called fear-setting, and I'm borrowing it from Tim Ferriss. Instead of letting your brain process multiple confused background simulations, this tool forces you to define the worst-case scenario explicitly. This in turn allows you to make more considered choices.
Here is what to do:
Column 1: Define. What is the absolute worst thing that could happen if you make this career/life change? (e.g., "I quit my job, the new venture fails in 6 months, and I run down my savings.")
Column 2: Prevent. What micro-steps can you take right now to decrease the likelihood of that happening? (e.g., "Keep a 3-month cash buffer; take on freelance clients before quitting.")
Column 3: Repair. If the worst-case scenario actually happens, how would you fix it? Who would you call? What job could you take to keep things ticking over? (e.g., "I can move into a smaller apartment for 6 months and reach out to my old network for contract work.")
The brain loves this tool because the amygdala activates when faced with threats. By putting numbers, details, and action plans to the "worst-case scenario," you convert an uncertain outlook into a concrete problem. You can then identify practical ways to reduce the risks and work out what you'd do if things didn't go to plan.
A much calmer approach.
This is just part of the work we do in my Reset Programme where I support you through all of this indecision and uncertainty and leave you with a clear sense of direction and a roadmap to get there.
One client recently told me he felt “at peace” at the end of a call. Finally his mind had stopped spinning in overdrive and he felt calm again.
That’s what becomes possible when you start working through your options with someone who can help you see the bigger picture.
If you’re at a crossroads and struggling with a midlife career change, let’s talk.
In an initial conversation, we can explore where you are now, what you want to change and how I might be able to help you move forward.
You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.